What would your 18 year old self think of you?

Would she be proud of all that you've achieved?

Would she find you inspiring?

Would she be relieved that it all worked out in the end?

And what advice would you give her if you could?

This blog is diving into how your adolescent self is still running the show in your business, whether you know it or not. And of course, I’m going to share what you can do about it if this resonates with you and the light bulbs start going off.

This is hot off the press from my chat with a lovely client who had just come back from a school reunion, 30 years after leaving high school. Could anything be more confronting? It's literally coming face-to-face with your 18-year-old self and how everyone remembers you. You're right back there, aren't you?

Picture the scene: you spend ages getting ready, doing your makeup, covering the gray roots, maybe pulling out a few chin hairs and picking a flattering outfit. You see people across the room, get yourself a drink, and do the chit-chat. Then, the inevitable question comes, "So, what do you do now? What are you up to?"

What they're really asking is, "Did you fulfill your potential?"

We all had big dreams when we were kids. At 18, the world was our oyster. That perfect summer after A-levels, no real responsibilities yet, and everything is a possibility. But the reunion is a chance to find out: did those dreams materialise? Or did reality get in the way?

Let me share a story. When I was 11, I was learning to play the guitar. At our leavers' assembly, the whole school and parents watched as my class played and sang songs I had written. The feeling of being on the spot like that was intense, and the bitchiness of other parents questioning why I got such a starring role stuck with me. It instilled a belief that it wasn't safe to be visible, that success could make you lose friends. I buried that memory until today.

Another client loved art at school, especially sculpture. But her parents, a family of solicitors, dissuaded her from following her passion for the security of a legal career. Now, she's built a successful legal practice but feels disconnected and bored. She's struggling to break free from the paradigm of "Who the hell am I to make a living from what I love?"

Another client was passionate about psychology, but her parents and tutor warned her off, saying it was too competitive. She now has a successful HR consultancy but feels a large part of her wondering "What if?"

So many of us are still ruled by our adolescent selves.

This is a key stage in our development, what I call the origin story paradigm. Our self-image, decisions by committee, fitting into our family story—all these things shape us. Even as fully-formed adults, our 18-year-old selves can pop up, especially in business where we're constantly out of our comfort zone. This is the breeding ground for imposter syndrome.

The evolutionary need for safety and acceptance means that doing something new or different feels like a threat. This is why imposter syndrome is so prevalent among entrepreneurs. But you can only achieve success to the limits of what your 18-year-old self believes is possible.

What would I say to my 18-year-old self? Two things: "Strong back, soft front, wild heart" (from Brené Brown) and "Life is tough, but so are you." Absolutely go for it.

I've been helping women with imposter syndrome since 2007. I've created a free guide with five strategies to help you break free of your imposter syndrome as a female entrepreneur. If today's conversation resonates with you and you're sick of playing small, get your hands on my free guide - drop me an email at claire@claireackers.com and I'll send you a copy, totally free.

That's all for today. Thank you so much for being here.