Unbearable smugness & getting back on the horse

Today I want to talk to you about my unbearable smugness, and getting back on the horse.

 You may recall me talking back in mid-March about my new 5am regime.

 I was in a real Upward Spiral. I'd just turned 40, I was ready to make some big moves in my business. I was up at 5am every morning for a power hour - doing yoga, meditation then strategy work.

 The quality of the ideas I was getting was amazing, I had so much energy and was feeling super creative.

I was even more present with the kids, because I'd had time to myself before they woke up.

The only real sacrifice was giving up telly.

I was, by all accounts, feeling pretty smug.

 And then Covid hit. Urgh, the brain fog. I was weaker than a newborn kitten and any thoughts of inner work went straight in the bin.

And then we went on holiday to Cornwall. Where 5am starts and yoga were replaced by paddling and pasties.

And then I got tonsillitis. And the brain fog came back. It was all I could do to string a sentence together, never mind show up as a Warrior Queen.

I entered a real Downward Spiral.

 Sleeping in, in my warm, cosy bed. Not taking the time to journal, tap or do yoga, which meant all the thoughts stayed in my head rather than being processed. My weight started creeping up again, as I reached for my old crutch (comfort eating and calling it relaxation).

 I came into the office on Easter Monday to get my shit together.

 I was umming and ahing about whether I really wanted to commit to 5ams again, and resisting it like anything, because honestly, it's a lot of effort, and already bargaining with myself, when I had a thought that hit me right between the eyes.

"What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of life do I want to create?"

And immediately after that, my next thought was, "Arse". Because once you've had that thought, you can't put it back in the box, and I knew I'd have to follow through and do it.

So this is me. I am willing to step outside my comfort zone and do the damn work. I am willing, ready and able to do what is required to live a life less ordinary.

Have you ever had to get back on the horse? I'd love to hear your story.